Santa had a little accident...

We went to see Santa on Tuesday at the Cerritos Library. We sat, while Santa read a story to the children. Then all hell broke lose when they told the children to line up to sit on Santa's lap. The children are not going to quietly line up. The are going to push and yell and scream to see Santa. The places at the mall are much more organized at these types of events than the library. And we're talkin' the mother of all libraries here. It cost them around, oh Three million dollars to bulid the stinkin' thing. It's a wonderful place, but get your ish together people! Anyhow, back to Santa. We stood in line for a half an hour or so. Then Santa decides he needs a ten minute break from the kiddies. Everyone panicked. Then, the workers got on the microphone, and announced that Santa hadn't left. He was just taking a little break. So we finally get up to Santa. Caleb, my four year old, sat right on his lap. He wasn't scared a bit. He told him that he wanted Sponge Bob. And jumped right off. That was that.(I forgot my camera, and the strangers there couldn't believe how careless it was of me not to record this momentous occasion). Now, Joshua, my almost eight year old son, wanted to sit on his lap. Joshua is 100 bills. I don't think Santa appreciated Joshua sitting on his lap. Oh well. Joshua pulled a 'Ralphie' and forgot what he was going to tell him as soon as he sat on his lap. Everyone is waiting. So, all of a sudden, all of these random strangers started shouting out to him, 'What about a skate board? What about a bike?' Joshua looked at each and every one of those people in their eyes and said 'No, I already have a skate board, and I already have a bike.' I did not say a word. I could tell by the look on his face, that he had forgotten what he wanted to tell Santa. Poor Baby! I saved him from the horror that this day was turning out to be. I walked up to him, while he was looking all depressed sitting there on Santa's lap. I said, 'It's ok buddy, Santa already knows what you want. Remember you sent him that letter?' Then his eyes got all bright and happy. And he finally got off of poor Santa's lap. As we walked off, he remembered what he wanted for Christmas, a Machine Gun. Later that day at home, Caleb remembered something. He came up to me and said,'Mommy, I think when Santa took a break, he went potty on himself. Mommy, Santa smelled like pee!' Poor Baby! No wonder he got the hell out of dodge. He wasn't stickin' around to smell that. I wonder if one of the kids peed on him. That's probably why he had to take a break. To try and get the skunk smell out. Gross! Well, I don't think he's getting the deposit back on that Santa suit.
p.s. I'm a little bit disturbed at how long Joshua sat on Santa's lap without even smelling the pee!